She Loves Him and He Loves Her
When Joy finds Hope in Mexico
There was a period in time that I didn't believe love was for me or that it would ever find me. So, when I decided to stop looking and allow God to work on me and my insecurities and be free from just existing in a relationship with a man who never saw me for me. I prayed for Love for years, and at every failed relationship, I was reminded that my ideal Love partner might never exist. Living in a smaller city that never sleeps, it was easy to date the flashy guy that seems to have it all together but is just one paycheck away from repossession. My prayer was that God allows me to grow as a woman and give me a better man in areas I struggle with. Allow me to have the desire to sit at my husband's table and gain more wisdom and improve in every area of my life. Was that a lot to ask for? And, that night, God said, nope, your desires are what I have placed within you, and that's not the issue. So, it was a night I would never forget and still to this day makes me smile. I called my late girlfriend and told her that I had met this amazing man. My description of him was over the top, but everything I thought he was. The description I gave about Mr. Ruffin was that he is a man that was everything I prayed for, and he came packages with an amazing smile. My girl was one that I could be open and honest with about every feeling that I was having, and throughout the call, she reminded me of God's promise and made sure I knew that I too was a prize worth having, crazy at times but still a prize. She encouraged me to enjoy the Friday Dates, flowers just because, the warm hugs that I missed at night, and the comfort he gave with not having sex before our time.
In 2014 as I start a new book I am, google reminds us of the Love that once lived and thrived within the very emails we share. I share with you the love, pain, and joy in learning to bet on yourself ALL the time, and regardless of your relationship outcome, keep your heart open, your mind free from negative speech and keep rolling the dice.
Here is my Google reminder I share with you.
Email:
You probably will see this sometime tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you as a man. In such a short period, you've given me another reason to become an even better woman of God. I'm blessed by your friendship, inspired by your love for others, and self-motivation, and drive for God. It helps bring all my capabilities to a higher level. Thank you for reminding me what love feels like. I believe everyone can teach you something. Yet, God places people in your path that will keep you walking the staircase set for you. These people hold a unique God-given talent to birth dreams, encourage spirits and help you tap into who you are. I say all of this because I know we're all supposed to grow daily, Right?. I've never wanted to grow so much as a person before we connected. Goosh! I'm in awe of just writing this about you. The very thought of you warms my heart. Never did I think I was capable of such inspiring feelings. They are all feelings I welcome.
And so, before my eyes get to sweating, I will end here. Thank God for allowing me to learn, share, grow and honor such a man as yourself. If no one ever tells you, Thank you for the words of encouragement your speak. Let me say I appreciate you. I can only hope I've done the same for you in such a short time. I can hear you now; we will continue to seek God's face.
May God go before us with everything. I can't wait to see you again. Xoxo
Email Reply:
I really appreciate the kind words. At times, I almost don't believe I deserve them or you. If I don't respond sometimes, know that it is not because I didn't hear you speaking, but my silence is usually a result of you making me speechless.
I thank God for you. Your spirit, your soul, your beauty; they all inspire me to be a better man. I always knew there was a "you" for "me." I was starting to lose hope and, for a long time, accepted my fate to be married and tolerate each other. But God's timing is not our timing. He knows what we need when we need it. He knew I was not ready for you before I met you. He had to shape and mold me so that I would be ready for you when you came along.
I don't know where we will land, but I love where we are going.
I never wanted to get back to see or be with someone like I do with you. I never really missed anyone besides my kids. But I find myself missing you and wanting to be in your presence.
Honestly, I find my mind drifting so far that I have to shake myself and focus on my tasks. I have to then pray about some of my thoughts and daydreams. :-) ~Email Love Letter~ D. Ruffin
Even though Mr. Ruffin and I did not work out, there was a valuable lesson given within a short period. Remember your worth and that regardless of your flaws, you provide a certain level of award/Reward with each attachment. Yet, all love stories for me come to an end, it seems. Mr. Ruffin was Mr. Right for that season but for whatever reason, space was not provided to allow each person to grow past their faults, and that is okay. Love is real, Love is perfect, and Love is meant for anyone that seeks it with pure intentions.
